Hey o/

Hey longtime no post, just dropping in to say hi :)

Not a whole lot has hapened lately well some stuff has but I cant really put it down here :(

What I can say is well exams are nearly here and I'm alergic already... books, study and notes really arent my thing :/ I practically freak out walking into an exam ya know that feeling, you dont wana eat cant sleep, keep fidgeting etc..... Well its here now, admitedly not as bad as the ones I got last year but its annoying and I cant wait to get out the gap for christmas =D

Works going ok but I'm gona be in a lot when my exams are done people out sick from work and my boss was practically begging me to come in the last few days but I had given notice so I 'politely declined' as in 'Fuck off I have an exam to study for'

One more thing, people that get up early in the morning... I dont know how you do it. Got up the last few days at 7am and quite frankly hated every second of the day until bedtime at a stupidly early hour. Really it was a crap experience and whenever im off I'm never getting up before 2pm ever again. Got up at 3pm today and feel great =D

Just giving ye a bit of scá anyway hope life is finding ye well, enjoy christmas and new years too if I dont post again.

Not posted in ages

Yes I know I haven't posted in ages, but thats cause theres shite all going on in my life atm. Ya know shit I cant post on the internet being cheif among them. I'd like to but I just cant you know pricacy and all that shit (-->I'm rather paranoid by the way)

but look just posting to say I'm alive =D take morew than a few weeks of silence to kill me you bastads =D

The week in review

Worked on Monday, it was crap.


Worked on Tuesday, was also crap. I did however get one good thing out of it I managed to fix my internal clock (as in not going to bed late and getting up late) I was in bed by 8pm on tuesday night so I was rather pleased with myself and looking forward to a wednesday where I could go shopping early for a change.


So Wednesday came about and guess what :O I was up and awake at 10 to 7. Made a fry for myself which I <3 I also hadn't eaten fried eggs in ages so I was deeelighted when I was eating them =P my Dad left for work as I was playing the computer. I was playing for a while and was just talking to a guildmate in the game how glad I was I wasn't at work... about 10 seconds after writing that my Dad came back to the house and said "your needed in work somebodies out sick"

I went crazy "Why the fuck did you come back and get me on my day off, fuck off and ring somebody else for fuck sake" was the most pleasant thing I said to him that morning. I can be a nasty git when I want to, and I really shouldn't have reacted like that I know but I was fuming. So wnt into work in a very quiet car with my best *I'm pissed off face on* but after about half an hour I had relaxed, and you know what? The day didnt turn out to be that bad at all =D The boss even came down and said sorry for the short notice and that someone had called in sick. On the way home I payed for what I did in the morning and my Dad was taking the piss out of me for most of drive home, we had a bit of a giggle which is good and I did say I was bit of a tool and I over reacted. He just went "don't worry about it"


Thursday got up early again \o/ and actually went shopping this time. Bought a few things like a new t-shirt that caught my eye, it was mainly toiletries though spray and shower gel and all that. Running a bit low. Oh and I also bought Crysis..... for a game slut like me I was actually shaking when I started playing it I was in awe. The graphics, physics and lighting in the game are simply amzing. The story is *cough* a bit shit but how bad :> so then did all the usual stuff then like hang around with a few of the lads. Had pizza in my front room and watched x-men 3 one of them hadnt seen it before so was bugging me to put it on... annoying but I said okay as I always do <.< cos its a pretty decent film. Stayed there with 3 of the lads till 2 in the morning just talking. Which we havent done in ages cos most of us are working but it was nice ya know :)


Friday got up a slightly late well 2.30 :\ and I would have been longer if one of my friends hadn't been ringing me all fucking afternoon. Picked up the phone and was like

"The fuck do you WANT" <-- I'm also a dick when I'm woken up.

"Where are you?"

"In bed you mong"

"Erm, Cian you said you meet me in town remember?"

"Huh? What for?"

"Its *insert name here* 21'st birthday tomorrow you moron. And we still dont have his present yet"

O.O "Fuck, totally forgot"

"You coming into town then?"

"Hah no fuck that I'm still in bed" <-- did I mention how lazy I am?

So anyway what actually hapened was my friend that rang bought him a big fancy watch and we all chipped in. The payment or re-payment rather (for the one who went in and bought the watch) was everybody who chips in for it, has to buy you a drink so the guy that bought the watch got 5 free drinks the next night saving him 30 quid :) so for the rest of that day I was just at home resting because Saturday was the big one. The first persone to make it to 21 from our group of friends so it was a big deal for all of us, I was rather excited.


Saturday, normal day get up late, dinner etc. After dinner had a shave and shower as we were going out for a bit of raz tonight :)

Me and 3 friends started drinking in one of their gafs at about quarter to eight, by nine we were in my mums car on the way into town. Got out went to the the atm and into the club. The place was pretty empty but not to worry it was still early. Gradually more people started to arive but the party was still kinda dead, an empty dance floor is a big disapointment for me (I'm crap but I do enjoy it) so plenty of alcohol and a few trips to the smoking area later I realised "Hey its starting to pick up WOOT WOOT" so from bout 11.30 ish the night really got into swing. The dance floor was packed, people were in good spirits. My friend (who's bday it was) was already destroyed and we weren't letting him get away with only being destroyed different groups of people kept buying pints and going for rounds of shots with him so he was totally hammered, still kept going though xD

I could go into every single detail bout the party but I'm not going to, cos I was also rather drunk hehe =P it'l also take ages to write it all down and make sense. But it was a great night, had a good laugh celebrating a friends birthday with no major drama which is about as good a night as you can hope for.


Sunday, first of all my head was fucked when I woke up and my tounge felt like it was wearing a wooly jumper, I needed water lots of it and more sleep..... lots of it z.z Got up pretty late but at least now I have an excuse :> so night came and I got a phonecall. A friends rents were away for a bit and he was having a session (consumption of alcohol for those who dont know) in his gaf. I didnt really feel like drinking as I had work on monday and because of the party the nihgt before but I said I'd call up anyway for a bit. Was good fun and I was rather annoyed at having to go to work in the morning as I would have enventually caved and gone drinking anyway. There's always something about having work in the morning that makes me want to stay at parties :( drinking there probably wouldnt even have crossed my mind if I didnt have work haha.


Monday, back to the grinder for another few days :(

Gah that took ages to write... anyways see ye again and much love <3

Cian

Up late again -_-

Its 3 in the morning I have work in 4 hours and I'm not even tired, why? Well because I'm a lazy bastard and got up at 5 pm today.

Thats whats I do when I don't have any work hehe, I asked my boss for Sunday off because of that party I was going to. She thought that I wanted the entire weekend off, which I didn't. But meh I did enjoy a weekend without work my first in about 6 months :\

The party was great btw met up with a few friends that I hadn't seen in ages n stayed there til about 4 came back wiht one of the lads. I love that actually when you run into people that you really get on with at a party n catch up. Was doing loads of that on Saturday night. We left at about 3 or half past and I brought one of the lads back to my house.

Both of us were starving so we raided my fridge and sat down in my kitchen for a bit just talking, after a while my friend went cos he was falling asleep. I was on Youtube when my Dad came down at quarter to seven in the morning to go to work hehe, he wasn't too happy =D

Got talked into going out last night as well my friends wouldn't stop bugging me to get more drink and come out again. I lost count of the amount of times I said 'I was drinking yesterday' they weren't having any of it though.

I caved eventually and it actually turned out to be a good night. We were in a house of a friend of a friends which was nice as she doesn't really know me that well but still let me and 2 of my other friends come. I can see why people might be reluctant to bring people that they don't know that well to their house, as many people are morons. You can rest assured I'm always well behaved when ever I'm out :)

We did have a great night though, despite the fact that one of my friends got off with this one that was at the house, who was a cousin of one of the other lads that was at the house. We had to walk home which took bout 3 quarters of an hour, as he was our lift home haha.

till my next blog :)

Cian (and fuck you Firefox my name is not spelled wrong)

A wee update

Hey ya'l I think I'l stick with irregular blogging in the future, mainly because I dont want to post rubbish and people get bored/stop reading. So what I'l do is probably post once a week or if something good/great/amazing/fantabulous happens I can post that too :)

Things have been going fine round here lately, still have ages left in my summer holidays which is rocking good news =D been working away so I have money and also something to do when I get bored of the computer. The game that I'm playing at the moment is great but I feel like I need a new one.

So last night my Mum said she was going shopping and I was

"Oh oh oh bring me, bring me"

the look on her face haha o.O "You actually want to come shopping, with me? Cian this is e we're talking about"

"Yes I do haha"

See usually when we go shopping I'm a moaning little shit telling her to hury up and asking why does she need to look at 10 different packets of the same thing <.< I really dont get how her or any female can stay inside shops that long. I mean what do they get out of it (except for shopping of course) I hate shops, dont ask why. I get really distracted in them and can sometimes find it hard to think, I've even gone in and bought the wrong things before and then afterwards said to myself fuck that I'm not going in again.

I'm not afraid of public spaces/shops or anything I just dont really like shopping a whole lot. I probably get it from my traumatised youth of spending countless hours in town while my Mum pours over useless shit that she's not going to buy in some backalley shop for hours on end.

So anyway back to shopping I went in with an eye towards buying the crysis battlechest (or something along those lines) its 3 games in one for 50 euro which aint too bad price wise. But it was 8.45 pm and the shops close at 9 on a Friday so once we got thee I ran out of the car because I needed money from the atm (getting all excited before going to gamestop which regularly happens) and checked the shop was open which :o it was. So that was great legged it to the atm 100 quid thank you very much. Turned into Road Runner on the return journey to gamestop but...

=[ 8.55 and the frakking shutters are down. I cursed very loudly in the middle of the shopping centre. Drawing starnge looks from a few people who though I was a bit odd hehe =P So I said frak it get some junk food and watch a movie instead :)

Which I did got some haribo starmix and a bag of dorrito's whcih are :o so tasty *drools* and watched Terminator Salvation. Which despite what a lot of people have said I though was great the special effects in are o.o and some of the things they do in it are shweet. It was a bit odd though and not what I would have made was I making it. But then again I'm not a writer so I'l sht up now haha.

I have a party to go to tonight, one of my friend parents have gone away for 2 weeks and left her alone (her being 19) we were there last week too but I forgot to mention it. So anyway a house, a load of drunken morons, what could possibly go wrong? If anything does I'll tell ye about it =P

Enjoy yere weekend all I know I will <3

Cian

What I was on about the other night =p

'something that has been trailing me my entire life.

Something that I have finally destroyed utterly and totally. It may have taken somebody to say it to me to make me realise it. But I'm still like \o/ (thats e throwing my arms into the air in joy haha)'

Thats what I said and I think its time to explain, I'm the youngest of 3 brothers. Who are total legends btw, I would gladly follow them to hell and back and they'd do the same without asking. Ya know we take care of each other look after each other like proper family do.

But I'm very much the black sheep of the family, I was the one who was drinking when I was 13, I had been smoking for 3 years (on and off) before I was caught when I was 14. By then I was very much full time, I also got into alot more trouble in school than any of my brothers ever did. Nothing serious but I was and still am much more of a messer than either of them.

This was also greatly reflected in my school work. I was never even close to either of them in grades at school. We all went to the same school and because we look very alike (to the point where people think I am my brothers on the bus or if I pass in a car) teachers often confused our names. In my class in secondary school there was a fella there who even had the same name as me which led to alot of confusion in the first days. We're now great friends too he's a total ledge and I'm glad I met him he's a proper friend.

What I'm saying though is that because teachers either confused my name with my brothers or my friend (who at the time was one of the top in the class) it often led to things like "Cian" 'yes' 'yes' "No, not you the smart one" or "x" (me being called my brothers name) and then "Oh wait I forgot he always gets A's doesnt he"

Which for a youngfella at the age of 14 is rather nasty. I was also shite at maths in school despised them, still do of course =D But the maths teacher I had also had both of my brothers. I was really bad at them as in I didnt do homework in maths for 2 and half years straight.

So that led to me and her having shouting matches in class and regular visits to the year head, she was also a complete bitch so its not all my fault. Suffice to say that wouldnt do at all and when the Junior Cert (the first state exam in Ireland usually your about 15) came around I was well and truly fucked. But :o I pulled through got a B in maths which took alot of work but how bad. Then we have the leaving cert which is slightly more important as it allows you to gain virtually free access to a college course of your chosing provided you can get enough points for it.

The points system is rather odd as the points value for the subject you are entering isnt based on its difficulty, its based on demmand from the year before and in extreem cases of demmand ie: 200 more students want to do the subject than they have places for the points will increase until they have a number the lecturers can deal with.

But me being a moron thought it was the other way around low points = easy. Which is wrong, low points means a course that not many people take. This happens for one of two reasons (a) its impossible (b) the degree doesnt have many employment prospects. I got option (a) which is why I stated in my earlier posts that I dropped out of college last year and was basicly fucked.

I was after clawing and scraping my way through secondary school, battering my way past the Leaving Cert. Then was hit by the college wall, needless to say I was found wanting. I couldnt hack it and dropped out. So once again the black sheep of the family has found his place, neither of my brothers did that and I was begining to think alot of people thought I was thick. Because of our good old friend the 'Recession' I couldn't find any fucking work either. So for 9 months I was what alot of dropouts are 'A waster' having that title and having your friends regularly say it is shit. But from all the above I hope you can see the sort of state I was in, feeling like shite, getting treated like shite and having my sense of well being and self confidence at an all time low. It was the worst I had felt in a long time.

But here I am one year later with my first year of college under my belt passed all of my exams and am in very well paid part time work,so ya know what Fuck the lot of ye wankers I'm here and I'm not fucking off without a fight >:)

Oh and about that was said to me, I told somebody in work what I got a 2.2 in my exams which is a 60-65% average.

She said "Well there ya go, see you can do it when ya want to. You know people could have been going xxxxxxx(my dad) has 3 sons 2 of them are great but the young fella well he's a different story"

When she said that I was like o.o it was like getting hit in the face with a brick and has made me realise that I can do shit if I want it badly enough so woo woo GO ME =D

Hope ye enjoyed my little story anyway and I hope to blog again soon,

take care :)

Im in a familiar spot now =D

In bed with the laptop, reading blogs till the sun comes up, well actually its been up for the last 2 hours and its now half 6 in the morning but shhhhhhat up =D

I'm in stealth mode, I have earphones in so the rentals wont wake up xD

Anyway people post more fishizlix... I'm out of reading material >.<

Sorry bob :\

Just saw that you tagged me for that blogging spot game, good idea but I did sorta miss it.. by a good few days :\ *looks away rather ashamed* oh and anyway I dont own a camera (^^,) so I couldnt take part anyway :(

Well anyway in other news my internets fucked.... not right now because its half four in the morning. But still its bad enough that its really fucking me off. I sent a very very nasty email to my internet service provider. Because quite frankly I was pissed off big time.

My new computers also acting like a complete dick, crashed during a game earlier and because the internet is saying 'No I'm not working' I've been sitting in front of my tv drinking rather expensive beer, my dads gonna freak haha. But I realised it was about time I posted and let people know how I was getting on.

Things are going fine :) thank god. Nothing has exploded and everybody is ok so thats that out of the way.

I've not been around because I was covering for people at work. Covering for people who were taking holidays which is good a) overtime woo woo!! b) bad because my body was like >.< I need sleep hehe =P

Been watching the news too, ya know the whole Michael Jackson memorial thing? Does anybody else think they should just lay him to rest?

Was watching the news earlier, thought it was sky news but they do a CBS section at night, which had a news reporter talking to kids on how to combat the recession. At first I was like O.o but after watching for a while they made a rather odd bit of sense. Like some of the ideas were great. But what the reporter found out during the investigation made me realise just how lucky I am.

He was talking to one kid, who said he realised things were bad when they had to go to a relatives house to get money for food. He then told the viewers 'So he decided to help' or something alog those lines. Then he asked the kid what did he do. The kid who was 10 said what he did... and my fucking jaw dropped

He raided his own savings, about 40 dollars and gave them to his parents to help out I mean if thats not a great kid I dont know what is. What was even worse then was they were talking to the mum who was saying that herself and her husband reckonned they were failures because they wee finding it hard to provide for their kids. I'm like :( now

It also meade me think would I do that... I dont think I would I'm a rather selfish bastard when I want to be and should probably be alot better to my parents than I am. I'm not making any life changing promises here but I do owe them big time. Now I just have to think of a way to make it up to them.

I have something else thats rather big on my mind but I think I'l save that for my next post. It was something somebody said to me in work the other day, and when she said it I went O.O 'fuck she's right, she may be a bitch. But she is right' and no its not me being a wanker or anything like that but something that has been trailing me my entire life.

Something that I have finally destroyed utterly and totally. It may have taken somebody to say it to me to ake me realise it. But I'm still like \o/ (thats e throwing my arms into the air in joy haha)

till next time =D

ps: I'm still sorry Bob ;D

Short post

Hey have work in a few hours so I'm gona keep this pretty short.

First of all I'm not fucking tired but I'm gona try and get some sleep anyway in a wee bit.

Second I hate going into work without sleeping, my internal clock is gona be fucked haha.

Third I dont have any fags >.< those are cigarettes btw

Fourth my boss has it in her head that I want work so she has let several of the full time staff take holidays, she couldnt be more wrong haha I'm a lazy bastard and love sitting around doing fuck all. She also thinks that I like to work seperate days and not alot together which is also shite... I'm gona have to say it to her :\

Last I lost a follower do I bore ye that much O.o

I'm still like O.O

Got a 2.2 or an average between 60-64.9% in my college exams GO ME =D Fucking rocking good news that was, I really really thought I did badly in one of them. Must be better at learning than think hehe.

I failed one subject in my first semester, dont worry didnt have anything to do with my actual course. It was a complete and utter waste of time that still pisses me off when I think about it. The fact that the lecturer was a thundering bitch also made me hate it even more >:( but anyway I had to repeat it during my second semester and I got a much fairer lecturer and even though some of the people in my group were a bunch of wankers and did fuck all. I'm confident, in fact I'm sure that I did very well in the reapeat... BUT the fuckholes that are the examintions board didnt allocate the marks.

So as it stands I have all of my credits bar one subject and I'm hoping that that subject, stupid though it may be will bring up the next few percent to give me a 2.1 which would be EPIC :)

Thats me done for now, will be blogging again soon. Take care :)

Cian

gah almost fucking shat myself for nothing...

Well the title is a bit odd but let me explain. I thought my exam results were out today but there wasnt an email from the examinations board in my student email :o so I had a minor panic attack buut thrn I realised that they are out tomorrow =D

The extensions getting tiled now :) cant wait to see the new kitchen thats going in it'l be mint I say.;D

Lazy much?

Well its half 3 in the afternoon and while most people are having lunch I'm having my breakfast... Summer holidays rock =D Still havent got a call from work yet so dunno when I'm going in. Dont mind tho my new computer is a monster and I've been sorta glued to it the last few days :) in fact I'm gonna start playing that as soon as I finish posting.

So I'm still sorta sleepy while writing this I was ke up by listening to Trance etc on loud hehe... How do you add youtube videos haha (^^,) wish I could show ye the shit that I listen too =P

About my last post

It was rather short because one of my brothers came home, so i was like fuuuuck and turned off internet explorer and deleted my internet history in the time it takes to sneeze. Oh in case you didnt know he doesnt know that I'm bi and to be honest I cant see myself telling him or anyone I know in lets say the next 2 or 300 years :\

Which is really bugging me but as I said in an earlier post its just something that I cant make myslef do. I know there are a million reasons to do and not to it, but what I'm most afraid of is that silence after you initially tell someone something like that... eeek even thinking about is making me feel sick.

So anyway part from work and all the regular stuff that life has to offer (sleeping, eating etc..) I've not been doing a lot thats interesting lately. Back to boring old me hehe =P

Did go to one of my friends mothers birthday parties the other day which was ok I guess. The older crowd were locked (drunk) seeing as they had polished off about 15 bottles of wine between them, we had to do wine run for them before we started drinking as we were the only sober onesin the house hehe. Had my first gin and tonic there too which tastes like shite had to force myself to drink the fucking thing, so I guess I did learn something :\ the party was ok but I was a little quiet so much so that one of my friends asked me if I was ok.

I was kinda like O.o "What you on about?" he just said "You seem sorta quiet, you ok like?" Now that was strange but I was just bored with the topic of conversation at the time. Fuck I would have given my left leg for something to have caught fire outside and provide some form of entertainment... I really was that bored lol. A few of the older crowd at the party were in such a state that they did provide some entertainment for a while but there's only so much you can laugh at somebody that's hammerred before you go "Hey! Fuck off"

Oh I do have a question to ask ye, whats the legal drinking/smoking age where ye live. Used to be 16 here back in the stoneage but now its 18.... Had me waiting for years the bastards >:( oh and some off licenses "Reserve the right to refuse service" the CUNTS!!! If they think you might supply alcohol to the younger generation... Which is a load of shite imo but anyway.

So until something mental happens dont expect to be amazed here =P

Over and out

Howdy =D

Hey not posted in yonks :\ my bad, but I'm here again now. Not really been busy either well unless you can count obscene amounts of computer being busy (^^,)

And also the fact that I've done bougger all so I havent really had anything worth posting about either. Just said I'd write this for everyone out there who's lending me their ear :)

And I'm really glad to see that mboys back :) loved his blog and was like :( when he said he was leaving and was like :( everyday I signed in and he hadn't posted but he has now so wOOt =)

Have been working a good bit which can contribute to me being a lazy shite, I'm lazy on a good day, after work haha... well lets say I'm slightly worse =P

mmm Sleep

Havent posted in the last few days cos of work o.o it really fucks up my internal clock, the fact that I'm doing nothing for ages tends to make me sleep in late and then I get a call to go to work at 7 in the morning :\ that usually means I dont get any sleep before it. Came home from work on Friday and was in bed asleep by 8 pm haha and then I woke at about 1 in the morning and couldnt get back to sleep again and had work again so I was in bits yesterday.

Fell asleep on the couch when I got in the door, cousins called over -.- and were bugging the shite outta me, one likes to play my mums piano but she's really good at it so its not too bad least she's not mashing the keys, while the other is incapeable of turning the volume on my computer down and when a gun battery on a ship fires off 60 cannons it can be quite loud hehe. But after they left anyway I was desperate for sleep, my brain was screaming at me "go to BED" but I knew if I did I'd only wake up in the morning and be back to square one again. So I stayed awake till 12, went to be and fell into acoma woke up at 3 pm the next day haha. My Dad was drilling n hammering in the rooms below me all morning cos he's putting in the wiring and piping for our new kitchen.

He actually came up and woke me up himself because he thought I was gonna be there all day hehe. Anyway things are going fine atm just did two days in work so I wont be back for another few days and my computer is working so I have something to keep me occupied woot =D

The quiz that I went to on Thursday was a blast and we raised 540 euro for my friend to take with her and help build shit wherever she's going cant remeber, was hammered when she told me lol. Was a great night anyway tho pub was packed and most importantly it didnt rain :o

Oh I have a question, Ireland has a smoking ban in its pubs and places of work right now. Basicly no smoking in any indoor public buildings anymore. Being a smoker people would expect me to not like it, but I dont mind it I think its a great idea, it stops buildings from reeking of smoke and more importantly stops people breathing in second hand smoke which is just as bad as the regular crap. Is there anything like this in where you live? What do you think about it? Would you like it to be brought in?

See ye all later, Im off to blow things up :)

Cian

Gah the house is fucked

Construction site indeed, running water from the bathroom, kettle + fridge out in the shed haha and its gonna be like this for a good while oh and now dishwasher so my evil rental units (well not really) have me on dishwashing duty the bastards.

We still have to do plastering, tiling, piping and electrics... Think I'm gonna have to give a hand with the tiling and its a big room :\ worst of all though is that my mums a hoarder so the kitchen was packed full of useless shit that she's never going to use but she's still like 'NOO I nEEEEd it' I mean FFS you mongo get a skip and bin the lot of it its all shite haha (making sure to recycle what you can mind you).

Oh man I have a tough life :( I'm off to the pub in an hour or so to go to another fundraiser..... =D should be good craic I'd say. I'l tell ye bout it later :)

bye for now

Cian

IT LIVEEEEEEES O.O

The fucking thing is working no shutdowns WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT 2 grands worth of computer equipment just waiting to rape the games market I cant wait >:) downloading games of steam now.... Havent played computer in fucking ages only have a few games for my xbox cod4 which I've beaten six ways from sunday and gow1 + 2 which I have also beaten six ways from sunday haha.

Fuck me if you could see the fucking grin I have on my face now =D

Rather pleased atm although I did get roped into fucking helping with the building grrr, I do get to kick the crap out of our old kitchen so its not all bad ;D

arg I just saw the download rate I'm getting atm..... 5% left and its going at 243 kb/s thats gonna be fucking ages :( oh ya btw did I mention I'm an impatient bastard... I want it NOOOW >.<

=P

Talk to ye all again gluck *waves*

Cian

Grrrrrrr

My new computer is fucked, think I put it together wrong or applied the thermal paste to the back of the processor wrong or something like that, bottom line it keeps shutting down whenever stress is put on the processor and I go >.< every single time. The sodding thing cost 2,000 euro's and well I'm slightly annoyed haha. What even worse te pillocs at the site I orderred it from are about as helpfull as a bag of turnips.... I sent them a webnote and got back a reply to which I went "yes I know that the problem HOW DO I FIX IT" -.- well I didn't send that to them but thats what I was thinking

My house is a fucking building site atm, we're getting an extension and moving or kitchen around and few other things and I cant wait for it to be finished I'l look mint I'd say. But until then we have no central heating and our fridge is out the back garden in my Dads shed haha. Whats worse aswell is the guys that are building it can only come around once or twice every two weeks. My Dad's doing most of the re-wiring, plumbing and all that but he's leaving the actual construction, structural stuff and demolition to a group of fella's he knows.

There a massive trench going through the kitchen atm which is gona be for the new heating pipes and all that but while digging it they found a mouses nest... in the middle of a solid concrete floor O.o how the fuck he got in there I have no idea the mouse was right next to the heating pipes, likes his comforts the little shit hehe.

Anyways thats me done for today my uncle who's an electrical engineer ( you may bow to his title now ) is calling over later to see if he can help me sort out my pc. Whats even better is he works with an IT company so fingers crossed =D

See ye later :)

Cian

Just read cvn's post

Jesus that news is soo bad, I mean christ like its fucking horrible.

I suppose I should tell ye why that blog hit me like a brick...

My best friend was killed when I was 15, he was run over by a taxi when he was crossing a motorway. His family are still fucked I mean his parents were odd to begin with but they took a massive hit from it, his Dad took early retirement and well his mum's a nervous wreck now. He was only 14 when it happened so that understandable and well I'm not going to lie to ye I was in shock, we had buried another family member the same year and withing 2 months of that my grandad and my gran aunt who I was very close to died aswell... so needless to say that was a complete cunt of a year. The only time I cried was when I saw my oldest brother coming out of my grandads bed room crying his eyes out (he was living at home) after my dad had just told him that he probably wouldnt be around for much longer.

Thats probably one of the worst memories I have from my teens and I wish I could erase it from my mind, but anyway my friend was dead, gone just like that. I was at home when it happened and his brother came over to our house and said
"He's been hit by a car"
fucking bang just like that my heart sank and I sat down on the stairs head in my hands wishing with every single ounce of my being that he would be ok that this was all just a bad dream and wasnt hapening. But it was and I knew what I had to do, some of the girls we knew were having a sleepover in a house a few minutes away from mine, I left my house and ran, ran as fast as my fucking legs could carry me to the house. I had to talk to them, tell them what was going on.

When they saw me banging on the window their faces went gray they knew something bad was after hapening. I told them, I almost felt like throwing up I was in shcok my mind was numb and my heart was feeling the worst pain I have ever known in my life. The girls were just as bad talking in hushed voices tears welling in their eyes it was horrible. I went home and was staning in the hall when I heard the door bell ring, that was his brother coming to tell me that my best friend was ok... I opened the door and he said

"He didnt make it" tears streaming down his face.

I was just standing there eyes and mouth wide open not really sure what to do, my heart was beating so fast I could hear it pounding in my ears, I talked with him for a bit and he left crying and walked back to his house. I went to the girls house and told them, one of the most awfull sounds I have in my head to this day was holding them close to me as they cried... it felt so bad but at least I was there with them and we were all there for each other.

The funeral was horrible I was standing there arm around a friend from our gang who was crying I just hugged him and told him that he could talk to me if there was anything he needed. Inside I was in bits, just an empty shell of who I was the day before I was numb, hadnt eaten in days and wanted to wake up from this what was probably the worst time of my life. But my friends needed me and I was dammed if I wasn't going to offer my shoulder to anyone who needed it.

I still havent cried about that or any of the other deaths to this day, the only time I did the entire time I told ye about earlier, I think there's only so much your heart can take before it tells life to go and get fucked.... didn't even cry while typing but I'm glad that I told ye about this I wanted to for soo long but I didnt want to just post it out of the blue. Hearing about what hapenned I realised I could share a part of my life that I have never talked about with anyone.

RJ I know you cant hear me but you hang in there ok dont give up and never stop fighting for your life. I'm wishing with every ounce of my sould that you will be ok....

I'l check back in a bit to see how he got on

Bye for now

Cian

hello again =P

Sorry I've not posted in a while :\ been a bit down lately, my computers fucked (the new one) had to build it myself well my friend did but there's something wrong with the processor that coupled with the fact that I went into with no sleep made me feel a bit odd yesterday.

I mean really weird I knew something was wrong with me and I felt like I was slipping into one of my dark moods again which can really really fuck me up, but haha all's I needed was a good nights sleep and I feel grand again woooooot =D love being in a normal mood not going mad but ya know just chilled like a can of beer mmmmmmmm. Speaking of beer I'm gonna ring my friends in a min n see if they fancy coming up for a few beers, really bored atm and there's only so much internet tv you can watch before you start to turn into a mad raving loon... not that I would.... no honest :)

As I havent done anything the last few days so I think half my problem is just being plain bored out of my tree :(

and what is AJ up to haha he's made a trillion posts in under 2 days. Havent read em yet but I will soon :)

Oh and my computer is actually working like I can turn it on and it wont explode just I think I did the coolant wrong, so when ever the processor is put under stress it shuts itself down to protect itself. It's ridiculously underpowerred atm 7 of its 8 cores have been shut off and its running at less than half the speed that it should be at. Which when you are mega nerd ie: ME is very very annoying cos I cant use it for the reason I bought the sodding thing, computer games :(

But hey, dont have anything else going wrong with my life atm so I guess I should shut up and get on with it XD

Talk to ye soon

Cian